From the Peanut Gallery

Cliff Notes Version: Half-way to the goal!!!

(17w2d)
Not only the name of my favorite B.en and J.erry’s ice cream flavor (brownies AND chocolate chip cookie dough. Rock on!), but is also an apt description of the babies.

They are exactly half-baked.
I am, as of two days ago, half way through my pregnancy.
So I hope they are cooking fast.
Is there a convection mode on this uterus?
The more well-done they are at 34 weeks, the better.

I am slowly making my way through the list of projects I want to complete before being restricted to the couch for good. I have managed to digitalize my childhood pictures up to 1984 (a long way left to go, but a good start nonetheless). I have been busy converting VHS home movies to DVD and we have been uploading our library of DVD movies onto the A.ppletv which should make bed rest a bit more tolerable. The nursery room is not very large, but I am determined to have only ONE nursery. Running from room to room in the middle of the night is not my idea of fun. We chose the cribs and crib bedding. We are now just trying to find furniture that will fit into the nursery and fill all of our needs. Fitting three cribs, a glider, a dresser/changer and an additional piece of furniture i.e., bookcase (we need a place to put the monitors, music, etc) has become a bit like solving a r.ubix cube. But we are coming closer to a solution (I hope!).

Overall I am feeling great. My feet get sore (especially with 4” high heels while teaching Sunday School a few days ago! Ouch!) much more quickly than before, and I blame my sore knees on the 24(!) lbs I have gained. Speaking of weight… I am now only 2 lbs behind the lower weight goal range for this stage of my pregnancy. It has taken me a while, but I have finally caught up… without, I might add, the aid of fudge sundaes, or hamburgers of any kind :-). The babies seem to be growing as my belly protrudes slightly more every few days.

Quick ultrasound is scheduled for Wednesday and as always it will be reassuring to see the three little buggers.

Will update then.

Posted by Schatzi at 7:08 PM | 12 comments  
Labels: Now Playing: Second Trimester

Cliff Notes Version: Looks like the nursery will have both blue and pink.


(15w4d)
So I ended up having a “full” ultrasound as originally scheduled today. See, Dr. Peri and I had both thought it was only a cervix check, and since I had one on Saturday, I wouldn’t need one until next week. But when I called on Monday to reschedule… turns out it was actually a “full” ultrasound. Mine last an hour and they simply didn’t have any place to fit me in next week (Which is why they schedule my ultrasounds a month in advance). So I got to go in today.
Right on.

This pregnancy seems to be defying the odds at every turn.
First I actually GOT pregnant (seemingly a miracle in and of itself)…. with FIVE babies… and a set of poorly-progressing monochorionic twins in the worst placement possible--- over the cervix… then we lost the two and managed to keep the rest of the pregnancy… then I fell into the 30% of asthmatics who have their asthma worsen in pregnancy… then I started losing blood from the twins without any evidence of inflammation on the cervix (Yeah!).

So why should I think the guessing of the sexes would be any different?
Well, I didn’t.
I have been looking at boy as well as girl crib bedding.
Because although Dr. Peri gave us an 80% chance for each of them that they would be girls, I was well aware that meant we would likely fall into the 20% category… at least once.

I wasn’t expecting twice.

Yep.
At this point, it appears we have two boys and a girl!
Dr. Peri is pretty confident.
And pretty surprised… “I’ve never been wrong TWICE in one pregnancy!” He said.
Dirt Diva’s response when I told her? “That’s because he hadn’t met you yet.”
Don’t worry.
Considering the pregnancy I have been having, I’m not holding my breath…

More importantly, they are all progressing well. All limbs are in place, all brains are developing normally, and their hearts are very developed for their gestational age… ah yes, the bragging starts in utero :-).

We couldn’t be happier.
And I would gladly be on “increased rest” for the next four months if such good news would just continue.

P.S. My cervix remains nice and long (I will buy it some K.rispy K.reme donuts tonight for performing so well!).

Posted by Schatzi at 8:34 PM | 13 comments  
Labels: Now Playing: Second Trimester

Cliff Notes Version: The post in which I describe my first visit to the Labor and Delivery ward due to dark brown discharge from my Neveryoumind. Outcome: All is well in utero.


(15w1d)
So Saturday was a big project day.
I wanted to clean out our storage garage, purge stuff we have collected but never use, set up more storage shelving and generally get it spic and span. See, I need to have somewhere to put my childhood things which will be cleaned out from what will become the nursery.

I am nesting.

So Thursday night, Mr. Sassy and I headed off to a local warehouse store to get heavy duty shelving to match the ones we already have in the storage garage. And Saturday morning we were up early, attacking the mess. In four hours we made huge progress and were well on our way to having plenty of storage space for future use. Don’t worry, I wasn’t doing any heavy lifting… just organizing and moving around the lighter things.

And then I found the spotting.
It was heavy, thick, and dark brown.

I immediately hit the couch and informed Mr. Sassy my project day was over.

I had no more spotting over the next hour, and it was definitely brown, not red. So I figured there wasn’t much cause for concern. But then again, I am not having a “normal” pregnancy, and Dr. Peri was clear that I was to call with any questions. And he has asked me at every appointment if I am having spotting. So after an hour of kvetching, I bit the bullet and called Dr. Peri’s answering service. Luckily he was on call (I was not looking forward to explaining my history and why I would even consider bothering someone when the discharge was brown not red). He asked me to meet him at the Labor and Delivery ward of one of the hospitals in town. It had been 10 days since he last looked at my cervix and was concerned that it may have started to shorten as a result of inflammation caused by the twins being resorbed directly over my cervix.

Off we flew to the hospital.
The charge nurse was expecting me and they got me into a room right away.
Dr. Peri showed up a few minutes later.
Abdominal US showed three heartbeats!
I was so relieved.

Transvaginal US showed my cervix was still long (4.25 cm).
Dr. Peri thinks the discharge is a result of the twins as there appears to be a connection between the remnants of their sac and my cervix. Alpha has moved down and his/her head is now lying directly over my cervix. Dr. Peri says this is a good thing because the twins are now off to the side. But the best news is that there is no evidence that I am at significant danger of imminent miscarriage. As a precaution, I am back on “increased rest” and off work until I see him next which will be next Wednesday (my appt this Wednesday is no longer necessary).

After a stern lecture that “rest” means being horizontal, NOT sitting (Gravity is still working on your cervix when you are sitting, he reminded me), we were released to head home.

One important lesson I learned is that the L&D staff at this particular hospital (one of two I have to choose from with Level III NICUs in our area) is fabulous. They were friendly and helpful. An important nugget of information I will consider when deciding between the two hospitals.

Anyway, so went our inaugural (of what will hopefully be VERY, VERY few) trip to the L&D ward. I hope there is some good daytime tv on this week…


P.S. Mr. Sassy completed the entire project and we now have beautifully spotless and organized garages. I feel so much better!

Posted by Schatzi at 7:19 PM | 9 comments  
Labels: Now Playing: Second Trimester

Cliff Notes Version: Where I decide that I remain an infertile at heart despite my rapidly growing mid-section. And where I explain my breakthrough on the car seat/stroller front.


(14w6d)
Thanks for all of you feedback on my “Counterfeit Infertile” post.

I guess I feel a little self-conscious.
I feel sorrow.
For my fellow infertile sisters that have not yet had the chance to pick out crib bedding.
And may never have the chance.

Somehow I felt that I was dishonoring my not-yet-knocked-up-or-adoptive-parent-infertile sisters by being excited and positive about this pregnancy. I am aware that logically such a concept makes no sense. But then again, much of what I have felt through my infertility journey hasn’t really made “sense” to me. So why should this be any different?

So I appreciated your support and feedback.
And it was nice to hear that I am not the only one perusing catalogs of baby furniture by the second trimester.

I still am, and will remain an “infertile”.
One successful IVF cycle after multiple failures didn’t make me fertile.
It only made me pregnant.

I feel like this pregnancy is a bonus, a miracle.
My main goal is to savor this pregnancy.
There are no guarantees it will still be around tomorrow.
And there are no guarantees I will actually get a live baby(ies) out of it.
So I continue to feel the need to enjoy every moment I have.

But I have good news.
Mr. Sassy and I have been hoping that we will be able to fit three infant car seats in the 2nd row of my V.olvo SUV. For a couple reasons. 1) I really like my car… it is a compact SUV… big enough to haul things around without being monstrous. One of the main reasons we bought it initially was for it’s safety record which was a real bonus since we were at the time expecting I would get knocked-up ANY DAY. 2) It is only 2.5 yrs old. We usually keep cars for much longer to get more value out of them. 3) I am REALLY waiting for a plug-in hybrid SUV to come out. That won’t be for another 2 yrs.

So I hauled myself to a local children’s store for a scheduled consultation with their car seat installer. He was mighty skeptical we could do three across in our car. But after some cajoling I convinced him that from my perspective it would be nice to at least TRY to fit the car seats in before heading out to trade in my car for a mom-mobile. So he measured to find the narrowest car seat in the store and we carried three of them out to the car.

What d’ya know… THEY FIT!
In fact, we have room for another ½ inch for each seat… meaning I now have a choice of three different car seats! Wow!

Not very exciting news, I know. But for someone who has spent two weeks trying to get this sorted out… it is a breakthrough!

At least with all the decisions we have to make in the next few months… buying a new car won’t be one of them :-)

After several hours of reading reviews, perusing threads on high-order multiples forums and even pushing a few around… I have also come to a conclusion on the stroller I will be getting (I had to wait until I knew which car seats were possible before I was able to decide on a stroller). For multiple reasons that I won’t be getting into right now, I have decided on a T.riple Decker. The highlights are that it will fit in the back of my car, and give me the flexibility to leave the house with the little buggers by myself if needed.

Ahhh.
So the big, complicated decisions are now out of the way.
I won’t order the stroller until they are actually born. Alive.
But I feel a bit more relaxed.
Because even if I get put on bedrest tomorrow, the rest of the decisions can be made from my couch.

(No, universe… that is not at all meant to be a hint).

Posted by Schatzi at 4:11 PM | 10 comments  
Labels: Now Playing: Second Trimester

Cliff Notes Version: Back in the dildocam saddle again. Nicknames have been bestowed. Warning: US picture.


(13w4d)
I had a "cervix check" today.
Basically it is a quick abdominal US to check on the babies, then... wait for it... a dildocam check of my cervix. Oooooo, and it is a good thing, too. Just when I was going through withdrawls from lack of medical personnel looking up my neveryoumind. Yes, I have nothing to fear. For I will be having these Cervical Checks every 2 weeks for the next month or two... then they will switch me to every week. So much for graduating from the dildocam :-).

Everything looks great.
No further word on the sex of the babies-- we may not know for sure until our next "full" ultrasound in four weeks when all of the measurements will be done.

But the babies were a-movin' and a-shakin'.
The superficial exams done on each of them (heartbeats and fluid) were all normal.
They are stacked like pancakes, one on top of the other.

Btw... we have nicknamed the babies.

I have been uber-impressed with all y’all’s creativity.
Mr. Sassy, though, wants an easy way to keep track of which one is Baby A, etc.

And since I imagine getting Dr. Peri’s office to write Winkin, Blinkin and Nod on the US pictures will be a losing battle… I had to go with nicknames which will also be clearly compatible with the boring designations used by the perinatologist.

So Alpha, Bravo and Charlie it is.

So here is a shot of Alpha from today....

One thing many may not know about me is that I was a thumbsucker. No, not the year-long phase many children go through. Oh no... I raised thumbsucking to an art form. Mom and Dad, after much cajoling and bribing failed, resorted to using some horrid tasting stuff that was painted on my thumb each night. My response? I just started sucking the other one. When they started painting both? I simply dealt with the nasty stuff and sucked right through it. Oh... and this wasn't when I was four... think more like seven years old when I quit. Yes, I was truly a master thumbsucker.

So I suppose it shouldn't be a surprise...




Sorry, Mr. Sassy.... this one is definitely MY fault :-)

Posted by Schatzi at 6:00 PM | 16 comments  
Labels: Now Playing: Second Trimester

Cliff Notes Version: Coming out of the shopping closet.

I bashfully concede that I have been indulging in an activity most die-hard pregnant infertiles leave for the third trimester (and the end of said trimester if at all possible).

I have been shopping.
For my babies.

I bought a few clearance clothing items for winter/spring next year.
*gasp*

The words “bold” and “overconfident” spring to mind.

*Cue the Justification*

Because we started with five instead of “just” three, I am at increased risk for preterm labor and other such fun complications. As a result, I am expecting to be on bedrest starting at 24 weeks. Dr. Peri told me I am on “increased rest” starting at week 20. They will deliver me by C-section at 34 weeks if I have managed to keep the little buggers in at that point (recent data clearly shows the stillbirth rate in high order multiples increases at 35 weeks). So I have at most 20 weeks left… 13 of which I will be spending mostly on my butt.

This is my first and will be my last pregnancy… and I want to enjoy it.
And I want to be as prepared as possible.

I have spent hours over the last few weeks attempting to determine whether or not I will be able to fit three infant car seats across the 2nd row in my V.olvo SUV (I have a car seat “fitting” with a local store on Thursday). I have been working to unravel what type of complicated stroller combination will allow me flexibility and ease without having to tote a stroller around on the hitch of my car (that’s just not how I roll…). I have also been doing research so that we can make a decision regarding whether or not we will have a live-in au pair for a year, or a live out nanny (I will be home with the children, but for the sake of my sanity, will have help). I have culled high order multiple sites for info on Must-Have items and added them to my list. I have even gotten close to picking out crib bedding, but will wait until we find out for sure the sexes of the babies. It will be weeks before we purchase anything beyond a few a few pieces of clothing I find on clearance… and a selection of creams which I am using to pretend that it is possible to prevent stretch mark formation (I’m thinking with triplets, this is clearly a losing cause…), but I am doing an awful lot of "picking out" and list-making.

Yes, this is all assuming I manage to hold on to this Embarassment of Riches pregnancy—something I actually find myself assuming.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I am well aware that such activities and attitude do not appear to be the norm for infertility-bloggers-who-have-managed-to-get-knocked-up.

I find myself a little skeptical that this pregnancy will turn out well.
But I also find that my skepticism is fading away.

Does that mean I was never a “real” infertile?
I mean, what bona fide infertile picks out CRIB BEDDING at 13 weeks?

******
Oh, and btw... turns out The Bastard is actually being paroled on MONDAY. But what we know... and he apparently doesn't... is that there are multiple new warrants out for his arrest. Which means instead of going out to dinner on Monday night, he will be kickin' it with the boys in the county jail-- his favorite spooge-laden bastion of all that is wrong with the world. I would most definitely not want to be him right now.

Man, I sure hope he straightens up and "flies right" after this.

Posted by Schatzi at 3:59 PM | 22 comments  
Labels: Now Playing: Second Trimester

Cliff Notes Version: Sassy is on the couch. Not entirely sure why I felt the need to withdraw for a week or so from much of the world. But I think I’m back.

(13w2d)
First of all let me tell you that everything is fine.
At least I believe it is.
I suppose we will know for sure after our next ultrasound tomorrow.

Thank you for the emails and comments.
I only just now found them.
And it was only tonight that I realized how long it had been since I posted.
(I got up for the regular midnight potty break and for the first time in quite a while, checked my email)

I kind of dropped off the grid.
It didn’t start off as a conscious thing.
Just as an unexplained need to minimize the constant pregnancy chatter in my life.
But at the same time feeling like I have almost nothing else to talk about.

I have avoided checking my email accounts.
And it has been two weeks since I have even opened an internet forum or chat group.
I even went several days without returning voice mails from friends I knew wanted to talk about my pregnancy.

I have been distracted by the research involved in some decisions that I felt needed to be made soon.
But really, that is only an excuse.

I can’t entirely explain it yet, but I have a few guesses.
I am thrilled to be pregnant… and even to be showing.
But I also find it to be a bit surreal and disconcerting.
A little like being in a parallel universe that I had started to believe I would never reach.
And in which I do not feel entirely comfortable.
I also think that I became overwhelmed once I truly began showing, and once it became clear that everyone around knew I was pregnant.
And many had heard we were having quintuplets, which means I have told the story about losing the twins more times than I would like to count.

When I am overwhelmed, I withdraw.

Not in a self-pity sort of a way.
And not in a “I’m-depressed-hear-me-whine” sort of a way.
Just in a Not-wanting-to-deal-with-other-people fashion, in a Not-wanting-to-answer-the-same-questions-a-million-times sort of a way.
Just needing my own space and time to myself.

I have always had this tendency to turn inwards (as an introvert, that is where I find my strength).
But it seems to be much more pronounced since the pregnancy.
Possibly because my clear priority is to take care of myself instead of conform as much to what others expect of me.

Anywho… I would like to think that my adjustment period is over.

**************************
Oh, on a completely unrelated note…. The Bastard has been paroled.
(Or so we are told).
He is to be released in about two months.
For anyone needing a refresher… he has been in custody for 6 months.
Yep, so much for a 12-30 month sentence (“Oh, don’t worry”, they told me, “he will do at least 24 months with his record”).
Ha!

I hate to say it (no really, I do), but I TOTALLY called it.

Posted by Schatzi at 12:42 AM | 9 comments  
Labels: Now Playing: Second Trimester